Jan. 19th, 2011

azurai11: (Default)
HRNG, why am I so stupid sometimes?? bleh, I wasn't proactive about finding out what books I needed for this semester so right now I don't have the books I need for two of my classes and I just feel stupid and am frustrated with myself because this could have been avoided SO EASILY and ARRRRGH.
Other than that the semester all two days of it is going fairly well. I like my classes well enough and it all seems pretty manageable.
But I'm procrastinating on doing my homework and my room is kind of a mess and I PROMISED myself I wasn't going to do that this semester but my brain keeps being all, 'it's okay, you don't have anything to do tomorrow until three! you can do it all then!' and it keeps saying that I can get in the habit of not procrastinating this weekend, and I'm like 'AGH I KNOW BETTER THAN THIS!!' and yeah. Honestly the only thing I want to do right now is go for a wandering kind of walk outside in the fog and sulk/angst/be angry at myself/feel worthless, but that's really not a particularly productive/healthy way of dealing with the way I feel right now. So instead of giving into my bad habit of letting the angst get to me and turn into something more serious, I'm going to do my writing for the day over on 750words and then do homework and then clean up my room a bit because seriously, I KNOW BETTER. The cycle doesn't have to repeat itself, I can take control.
I'm really fine, just frustrated with myself for not doing things that I could have done easily. Time to apply Buddhist philosophy, y/y? *meditation position* let go, let it go....


azurai11: (Default)

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